Personal thoughts by d beach..

I finally get some time and space to write ... I have been wanting to write for the last 3 weeks but I have been working 12 hours everyday. I am at the Sand Bar, Siloso Beach in Sentosa now, sipping Chris Creation mocktail, listening to some nice piped in music and facing the beach .. The firework will commence at 8 shortly from the Song of the Sea laserlight show next door.

How I wish life is like this everyday. Slow pace with a mind free of worries, stress and pressure.. for now. It's a Friday evening and I am so relieve to offload all my work in the office. Tomorrow is gonna be a great day. I have my 2 hours cardio and weight training in the morning and a planned surprise birthday party for a colleague in the evening.

While in d car earlier driving into Sentosa, I was listening to Bryan Adams songs.. Luv 3 of the pieces .." to really love a woman", "finally found someone" and "please forgive me".. The last song in particular sent lots of memories. I wrote once before in my earlier blog about me missing my best friend. That song play a big part in connecting me and my best friend whenever we fought. How I really wish I have my best friend to just be with me.. When I have my despair now, only that best friend can lift up my spirits. Even my other half now cannot fill in d gap.

Talking about my other half, I just feel that he should be more soft in his approach to me. I always wanted him to be part of my social life, party with me, have dinner with me and my friends, get to know my colleagues, get close to my cousins...but I get nothing close to it. It's always a trade off in any relationship I have.. I never get a good package. The truth is , I am a very simple partner.. I never ask for anymore more but just the attention n care. Nothing much right?

It's gonna be a long road ahead for me and my other half... Brutally truth, I wish he could be more like my best friend. I can't change my other half.. I love him and will manage the differences that we both have. I hope by me being the attention giver, passionate and caring one, he will learn to mirror them and hopefully slowly change for the better....all in the name of love ..

They always say.. " in a successful marriage, it's always important to have your partner falling in love over and over again with you (vice versa). That's the recipe to a lasting happy loving marriage... Double confirm

Can I be your.....

Have you misplaced it?

Where's...

I am still waiting .......

Best Fwen...???

I miss my best friend.....he was there with me through thick and thin times for 7 years....he understood me, supported me when I was down and never once took advantage of our closeness. He could have been my soul mate if he is not married... a rare find. We shared about our work, we go shopping together, we talked about cars, we bitched about other people, we shared favourite food, we go on buddies holiday together, we shared lots of  favourite movies, we party so crazily together, we were great dancing partners,  he accompanied and converse with me during my late night drive and early morning drive to work, we both love nice house deco, we compliment and motivate each other, we were perfect as best friends together....the only difference I see in him compared to other close friends I have is his constant communication, support and expressiveness of feelings which I think is crucial in every friendship and relationship. You express your thought and your feelings about things, you be heard and understood. Darn, I really miss having my best friend around. 

My dear best friend "OCK and Walyte", since you disappeared, I have become a lesser expressive person, I talked a little bit lesser and I really miss partying with you !!!!! Only your natural self can bring back the life in me....!!!

So what's next dude?

Crazy weekend.....

It was the Singapore General Election weekend where 2.1 millions Singaporean get to choose who shaped their next 5 years of heaven or hell, it was also the Mother's Day celebration following that.

2011 GE was crazy and so heated because this time round, it was a rare and roaring session for most disgruntled Singaporeans who finally wanted their angry and discontented voices to be heard. They could have just pen it down in the Straits Time forum page but I guess these people just want to create a memorable and emotional 11th GE since independence day.....

So what do the result mean? In brief....

1. Lots of rejected and spoilt votes...my aging dad admitted to be one of the culprit :-), But his one rejected vote will not change the future of Tampines as PAP won the GRC. This however shows that many of the aging citizens could be the culprit of these doings.....Singapore is dying and we need more babies to turn the reversed pyramid back

2. PAP needs to really buck up if they want to see more supporter... their votes were all time low since independence at 60.14% and 1st time ever, the Workers Party capture Aljunied and  manage  to retain Hougang.

3. Funny how the GE is also associated with Kate Spade......they found a new ambassador for that brand which soon will have sales dropping...ladies will boycott that Kate Spade just to show how much they detest Ms "Tem Pe Leng" (TPL)  of Marine Parade GRC.

4. Lots of Singaporeans still are very unhappy since PAP conquer the 81/87 of the contested GRCs.. More are even unhappy with George Yeo (GY) contested out....and are praying that GOD removed TPL and have GY replaced her.

5. Next coming GE, , it means that the opposition parties should perhaps consider that a consolidation of their best candidates into one party may represent the best chance for more opposition candidates to be voted in when the next GE happens....

So much  so after the results were out , emotions settle down and people resume their daily lives, it may be wise to sit back and reflect on the significance of this election and what it means now for the future of Singapore as well as the various parties that contested this GE....As for me, I am garnered towards listening to my head than heart. Being indoctrinated with the PAP basic kindergarten education doesn't  mean that I am inclined towards that party....I do look from other perspective where there are racial issues being questioned , the increasing cost of living, etc. Nonetheless,  I believe that the incumbent ruling party  together with the opposition should just synergies and marry each other for the benefit and good sake of their growing and developing "Childizens"... for now, I do miss singing Majulah Singapura :-)

How time flies ...How things change

About 1.5 year ago.... he says...

Now...It seems to me like..he has...

I am not surprise if I am suffering from .....

 

And It's all attributed to YOU !!!!

Needy Me...

Have you ever stopped to think about what your needs are in a relationship and in a marriage? Did you ever think they might be different from your other half?

"Needs".... what an interesting word. I used to be one of those people who didn’t even know that word when it came to a relationship. I knew I had “wants" but after a bitter divorce, my whole perspective in life change. I value more of those intangibles.  I was secretly reading this book in the office, during breaks ...“His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage,” by Willard F. Harley. Not wanting to bring it back home in fear that my other half will be laughing at me for "going back to book" for such matters.

Excerpt from His Needs, Her Needs

“In my counseling experience, I have identified five basic needs men expect their wives to fulfill and five needs women expect their husbands to meet. Time and again these ten needs have surfaced as I have helped literally thousands of couples improve their troubled marriages. Although each individual may perceive his or her needs differently, the consistency with which these two sets of five categories have surfaced to explain marital problems impresses me.

The man’s five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:

1. Sexual fulfillment

2. Recreational companionship

3. An attractive spouse

4. Domestic support

5. Admiration

The woman’s five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:

1. Affection

2. Conversation

3. Honesty and openness

4. Financial support

5. Family commitment

These categories may not apply equally to everyone. Some men and women will look at their respective lists and say, quite honestly, “I don’t share this or that need.” Sometimes people will see things on the list of the opposite sex that will strike them as more applicable to themselves. Long experience has taught me, however, that the vast majority of each sex do agree that the needs I have listed are their deepest ones when it comes to the marriage relationship.”

“In marriages that fail to meet those needs, I have seen, strikingly and alarmingly, how consistently married people choose the same pattern to satisfy their unmet needs: the extramarital affair. People wander into affairs with astonishing regularity, in spite of whatever strong moral or religious convictions they may hold. Why? Once a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the five needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched. If changes do not take place within the marriage to care for that need, the individual will face the powerful temptation to fill it outside of marriage.”

Don’t shoot me if you don’t agree. I’m just the messenger. I do think this is something to think about. Yes, it’s easy for us to say that people cheat because “they want to.” However, I don’t think most people go into marriage with the idea of being unfaithful to their spouse. We may not like it, but maybe there is something to what Dr. Harley is saying.

Eat, Pray, Love

I suddenly feel that things are out of balance in my world. I feel like something is not quite right . Many of us have felt that same way. That deep down in your soul knowing that something’s got to give, something has to change. It is time for something new. Time to re-evaluate our lives — what’s important to us, what are the keepers, what do we leave behind, what needs to change? 

The answer is different for us all. When you feel that call, know that it is time for you to stop and listen to your inner voice. (I’m not talking about the inner voice of negative, get-you-in-trouble self talk). For some it may mean you need to find your inner voice and to go on a journey of rediscovery — of yourself. You may have spent years always putting others needs first, catering to others, working in an area you no longer find fulfilling — or perhaps you never did. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself, “What do I really, really, really want?”

I always buy books when I am off for a holiday. I stumbled on this Eat, Pray and Love coming back from either Bangkok or Jakarta end 2009. 

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the bestseller “Eat, Pray, Love,” found herself at that point in her life when she knew it was time for a change. So she set out on a year long journey of self-discovery which took her to Italy, India, and Indonesia. I’m not saying anyone should mimic her journey. I think we must all find our own way and walk our own path.

 I felt then like I’ve just read a book that was custom written just for me. I’m in the letting go phase and consequently the grieving phase.. and I know that I’ll be the better for it. On the other side I hope I will come out stronger, wiser, and hopefully happier.